Today I finished shredding all the old paper journals. I cry a lot about loneliness in all of them. I’ve even asked Yahweh to take away the desire for a partner from me. Also the desire for a child. I’ve definitely mourned not having a child and I truly don’t want one at this age. Guess we shall see what happens with the partner situation.
I realise that I don’t enjoy traditional colouring as much. But colouring in the words is quite calming.
Notice and name my feelings. So many of us have been taught to suppress our emotions and to avoid them. You’re told you’re too sensitive etc if you are open to your emotions.
Emotions:
- Identify what we are feeling
- Pause/calm the body
- Explore: what is the emotion for
- Choosing what to do with the emotion.
I’m going to journal for one year.
Today, I felt mostly calm. There were moments where I felt sad but by acknowledging it, I was able to address it. There are times I may doubt what I heard, but I am still holding onto faith. I am trusting God with his timing and not mine.