For the first time last night, since we started talking I did not wish him good night. As weird as it sounds, I have to accept the reality that I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know what will happen.
Time will reveal. God will reveal when he is ready. In the meantime – what do I need to learn? Where do I need to grow? I don’t like conflict or tension. I prefer things to be resolved.
Stand still and see the salvation of God. STOP RUNNING!!Â
Everything is not about me. But the way I feel is about me. What affects me is about me. Whatever happens I will know where I stand and I will know how to move.
So I am crying: listening to a service.
“Lift your hands on high. My God has his hands on me and will provide”. I may not be able to sleep tonight. I really don’t know what will happen, but I will be okay.
Yahweh, I need to keep my eyes fixed on you. No matter what happens. You are MY GOD and you care. You love me.
Thank you for loving me.
A quiet truth: I don’t know if I’ll truly feel as though someone would want to choose me. Maybe someone will, maybe they won’t. But that’s just a feeling. My history says that I am not chosen by man. But I am thankful that I am chosen by God.
Thank you for loving me. Yahweh, maybe he’s not ready. Maybe he is. But despite the way I may feel because of my history, I am a good person and I am lovable. Yes, that sounds corny. But there are some truly awful people who are loved. Even Satan is loved by some folks. And while Jeffers may not be who you want me to be with, I do ask that you don’t forget me. Please don’t leave me alone for life. I don’t think I have the heart for that.
