January 22, 2023
3:01 am : sitting up in my room
About two years ago, I had a plan to celebrate my 44th birthday. It was to be for 44 days with donations to charity, a scavenger hunt, a photoshoot, random acts of kindness, ending with a family dinner. But honestly I pretty much cancelled everything. I haven’t done anything to celebrate my birthday in about five years. I would like to this year. If for no other reason than because it’s a golden birthday. Maybe it can be smaller than my original 44 days because I don’t want to spend money that I don’t have. And at the moment my thoughts are going blank. Not necessarily in a good way.
Yahweh. Help me to fight these battles in my mind.
I am safe: this is a safe place for us to speak. You know my thoughts and still want to hear them even when they are wonky.
I am loved.
I am creative.
I am saved.
I am special in your eyes.
I am not controlled by my thoughts, emotions or circumstances.
I am a daughter of Yahweh.
I am under Yahweh’s protection.
I am your creation.
You are my Father.
You are God.
Your thoughts for me are good.
You are amazing.
You are most beautiful.
You are beyond compare.
You are my mentor.
You love us unconditionally.
You died to save us.
You are faithful.
You are compassionate.
You are love.
You love me.
Thank you for who you are. I will take it one step at a time. You didn’t create this work in a day. I shouldn’t expect that life would change in a day. Though I also absolutely know that that also happens when you choose to do so. Thank you for your days. Let your will be done in your days. In the days you’ve given me. This is my prayer in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Psalm 121 – I look up toward the mountains.
Where can I find help?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let you fall.
Your guardian will not fall asleep.
4 Indeed, the Guardian of Israel never rests or sleeps.
5 The Lord is your guardian.
The Lord is the shade over your right hand.
6 The sun will not beat down on you during the day,
nor will the moon at night.
7 The Lord guards you from every evil.
He guards your life.
8 The Lord guards you as you come and go,
now and forever.
–
2 Thessalonians 3:3 – But the Lord is faithful and will strengthen you and protect you against the evil one.
4:15 pm : In my Room
It’s official.
My room is cleaned.
My workstation is organised.
The blog updated (not to the latest, but nine new posts).
Journal entries typed up to the end of September. Yes!!
And invoice sent for a book repair request.
Wait…and all my clothes washed.
Guess what?
I’m tired. My eyes are tired.
I’ve also started back tracking my meals because the last two months I’ve been all over the place.
Tomorrow after work I will go walking. Up a hill. But for now? I’m gonna relax and call it Sunday. Thank you Yahweh for your strength. For your grace.
And I realised as I’m writing that I should have braced my wrist as a preventative measure while I was using the computer. I will remember next time.
