May 28, 2022
I’ve often heard it said that Yahweh turns heartbreak into purpose. And he does. But I think if we go deeper we will see that heartbreak can also be part of the original plan he had in store. It’s not a heartbreak to destroy, but one to build.Â
But I think about Joseph, it was planned for him to go to Egypt. It wasn’t a heartbreak that “happened” that Yahweh turned to good. He told Abraham that he would send his descendants as slaves for 400 years before Joseph was even a twinkle in his father’s eye (Genesis 15:13). And there is the heartbreak that Yahweh turns for a good. (There are so many examples of this, including me). Jacob stole his birthright that was promised to him and was estranged for years as a result. David and bathsheba. The determinant factor in the end is whether we choose to believe in Yahweh in spite of what we are going through or in spite of the choices that we made. Will we trust him?Â
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Today I left home because, well, the neighbour playing music. The dogs barking and I wanted some quiet. I’ve been thinking of Yahweh and his promises and honestly there was that moment of: can I really do this? Will he really do this? And I knew I had to re-centre myself on Yahweh. There is so much that he has said that I still can’t even see the beginnings of how he will accomplish it in the time he said he would. And I have to remind myself to persevere in prayer. Hold on to what he has said. Hold on to who he is. So I will do that.
While driving, I was deciding between watching the sunset and the moon rising. I chose the sunset, but when I got to the area, there were so many vehicles and people there I had to leave. So I went with moonrise by default. I got to that location. It is quiet and the loudest noise was the high tide crashing on the rocks. Then I realised that I can see both the sunset and the moon rise from this location. Thank you. Because you lead us in unexpected ways and still meet our needs and our wants. Thank you.
It’s not possible to hide, you know. When it’s just you and Yahweh. Things that would be covered up by activity and busyness come to the forefront. You can’t hide. There is still sometimes the fear that this season is preparing me to embrace being alone for the rest of my life. That maybe it’s just wishful thinking. But you know something I’ve also realised? Every time I don’t hide the fear or the insecurities, he heals it even faster. His comfort is there.Â
TODAY’S THANKFUL TALLY
- The utter weirdness of Judges and the discomfort of Ruth.Â
- A sunset and my tears. Because Yahweh holds everyone of them.
- Chocolate. Because well, chocolate.
- Heartbreaks. Sigh. Today was not intended to be so maudlin though it turned out so in a way. Because heartbreaks are tools for complete transformation whether they were planned by Yahweh or used by him. But I need to constantly surrender to him.
- Judges, Ruth
