March 2, 2023
12:52 pm : in my room
No beach. Thank you for today. For your grace. I got the cloth. And ohhhh!!! Went looking for cat litter with no funds to buy, but though they had none, they will be getting next week AND I don’t have to find money because there are rewards on my account that would cover the cost!! Yayyy!! Thank you for your provision. Thank you.
3:30 pm : in my room
So I’m reading a book. And while I still don’t know how I feel about the book (though I’m still reading it), it prompted a confession. The three day fast wasn’t truly about drawing closer to Yahweh. It is still my desire to spend everyday in his presence, but I was truly motivated about jump starting weight loss. Which is not what a season of praying and fasting should be. It also truly emphasised that a life with Yahweh requires balance. So often we swing from one extreme to the other. Like eating everything in sight to not eating at all. But Yahweh truly desires harmony. Balance.
Funny enough, the book is giving the idea that the “poorer” churches are the ones where Yahweh is truly working and I can’t agree with that either. I come from a church community that preaches that Yahweh won’t necessarily bless us with wealth, but with health etc. But at the same time, it is always in need of funds for some of the needs within the church. If part of our mandate as servants of God is to be a blessing to others, it has to be more than just praying for them. And if I can’t even feed myself, how can I feed others? So I no longer hold fast to the lack mentality of some churches. Neither do I subscribe to the prosperity gospel of others. I will live as Paul stated – in contentment. Whether I have much or I have little. I will be content. Would I prefer to be able to fix my car? Absolutely, but even in that, I will be content. Yahweh, I pray for your church community that as we walk in your way and do your work, that even as you call us to “move” that we will also be content in you.
9:24 pm : ready for bed
What did I learn today? I need balance in my life. Help me to find that balance.
Thank you for today.
What else am I thankful for?
- Mental Health Day.
- Finishing the Bible I had to do over.
- Working on journals.
