May 5, 2022
I am angry. I wish I could say that I wasn’t but I am. I am tired and angry with the things that certain people do. Every time they are present there is an attack on my father. Every single time. And I am tired and angry. I cannot do anything to stop their attacks. Yahweh, please move in his defense, please. Because I’m tired. We are all tired and I cannot bear it anymore. I decided that I would no longer be a part of these meetings. I’m sorry. I don’t even know if that was the right thing to do. Sigh. I guess I’m coming to you after the horse left the barn. I’m sorry, if I should return, I will humble myself and return. But I have got to be honest, I don’t think I would like it. They were never my favourite meetings, but they were okay. But now? Every meeting is some sort of bacchanal happening and I don’t like bacchanal. Okay, I’m gonna be quiet. And wait for instructions. I promise to do whatever you ask.
Sigh. Can I at least take a hiatus? From the next meeting? Thank you. Help me to forgive.
TODAY’S THANKFUL TALLY
(Honestly not even sure if I want to write anything. But I need to, because I should not let anyone steal my praise.)
 1. Thank you for your correction.
2.
I apologised for getting angry. That’s never fun. But you know something? The day started out so powerfully and I guess that’s why the devil chose to attack. And (facepalm), I am only truly now seeing how much the devil truly is trying to fight me down. But I’m thankful for forgiveness. Yes, I know that I can’t hold unforgiveness in my heart. I am thankful that even in my anger I did not attack anyone. For real. I am thankful. So why did I apologise? Because even though I may not have intentionally done so, telling the chairman I wasn’t going to attend meetings anymore truly wasn’t the best response and I am sorry.
2. Serious spiritual tap. I felt it. It hurt.
3. Yahweh’s forgiveness.
4. Yahweh won’t delay, I believe.
Yahweh, thank you for being good. Can I get a hug now please? Thank you.
5. Wait! Wait! And all the entries for January are posted on the site! Happy dance! And I just did some maths, that’s 93 posts! Wayyyy!         But they’re up! February, March and April to go. Whooohoooo!!
He did not attack me directly. He knew that would fail so he attacked Dad. Yahweh, help me not to be ignorant concerning the schemes of the devil. Help me in every moment to trust you and to not lose focus. I’m thankful that you didn’t let me think and go off track. I pray that something good will come out of this and I only finished writing because I told him but you said that “all things” work together for the good. So something good will come out of this. Thank you for who you are. I love you.
