September 17, 2022
Good Morning Yahweh. Thank you for today. A new day in you. Thank you for waking me up and for your love for me. Where can I go that could take me away from you? To quote the Psalmist, “If I go to heaven, you are there. If I make my bed in hell, you are there. If I follow the sun, you are with me.” You will still be there to guide me. You will still be there to hold me. I am so grateful that you care about me. That you are there for me. And not just for me, but for every single individual living on this earth. Every person whether they choose to believe in you or not because you are faithful, even when we aren’t. You don’t change. You are merciful, compassionate, beautiful beyond compare and I am thankful that you are in my life.
Yahweh, cleanse us from our uncleanness. We don’t always like admitting that we are dirty. That our thoughts speak jealousy or anger, even if our actions to the outside world doesn’t show it. So often we wear a mask, even to ourselves. But masks separate us from each other and from you. Because you desire the hidden things. You desire the inner man. Not the pretend one. Though I wonder why. Why do you desire for us to not hide even the shameful things about us? They are shameful for a reason. And honestly it can make one question if I will ever be good enough for you cause I know my thoughts aren’t always good.
I get angry when insulted or wrongfully accused.
I get hurt when condemned.
I am frustrated when my boundaries are trampled on and I usually pull in an away when that happen.
Got to be honest. I still don’t like sharing how I am feeling in a moment with most people. I don’t trust a lot of people. Though I do trust you. It’s a start isn’t it? Probably because whether I tell you or not you already know and don’t condemn me for it. You correct. But you don’t condemn. And I am thankful for that because man alive, I am so often castigated by others. I remember speaking to someone because of a wrong they and others had done to me and others. I said I had been angry at their actions. Their response was, “So you wanted to clear your conscience?” You see why I don’t always like talking to people?
What part of “You were wrong and it hurt.” translated to, “You needed to clear your conscience?” Sigh. I’m not gonna get upset about it again, but it’s things like that, that makes me not want to talk to people.
Yahweh, I pray for this though, that I will have a spirit of humility if someone comes to me with an issue with my behaviour or action towards them. That I will listen the way you listen and not cast away what they are feeling in that moment. Because even if it hurts what they are saying, it also meant that I would have hurt them: whether intentionally or not. Yahweh, forgive me for hurting one of your children. Show me where I have erred because I don’t want to be an obstacle in anyone’s path to you. Help me to restore right relationships with you. Keep them Yahweh in your will: in the flow that you desire for them. Thank you for your never-ending, overflowing grace in our lives. Not the dam type of overflow, but the river overflowing its banks type of overflow. You are so beyond my human comprehension in your love that it never ceases to amaze me.
Thank you for being our God and King. Thank you for your mercies that are new every morning. Thank you for your faithfulness.
Psalm 89:1-2 – I will sing forever about the evidence of your mercy, O Lord. I will tell about your faithfulness to every generation.
I said, “Your mercy will last forever. Your faithfulness stands firm in the heavens.”
Psalm 119:89-90 – O Lord, your word is established in heaven forever. Your faithfulness endures throughout every generation.
You set the earth in place, and it continues to stand.
If Not For Your Grace – Israel Houghton and New Breed.
So I was just checked in my spirit by the Spirit. I was listening to a sermon and they were using Legos to illustrate a point. Legos nowadays come with a book with instructions and a million pieces in many bags. The speaker was lamenting all the instructions and the pieces and I said, “Just build your own thing. You don’t need to follow the instructions.”
Sigh. Yep. I walked right into that correction. You see if I desire to be built correctly, to have a solid foundation, to fulfil the purpose I was put here for. I do need to build according to the instructions that Yahweh gives. If I don’t do that, I may end up with something that looks pretty but crumbles or falls apart at the slight pressure. The foundation may be solid, but the walls blow away like paper. I may build a mansion and expend unnecessary resources when I should have built a tiny house (Actual example). I can’t just build my own thing, following my own imperfect instructions, but I have to build according to what Yahweh says. He knows what is needed and I need to trust his instructions.
Okay, okay I had to laugh (not bad laugh) at this one. The speaker said that they blame the church for just teaching that Yahweh is your friend, he will bless you etc in their desire to get people saved. But the church doesn’t teach enough that he is our Lord and our Father. And that for him to be friend, he needs to be Lord and Father first.
I had to smile because culturally, we were taught that Yahweh is Lord. Sovereign. Holy. Yes, He is our father too, but depending on the type of father you had that could go sideways. But not that he’s a friend, my friend. Not that he’s the friend that wants to spend hours in conversation with you.
Truth be told when we think of a lord, it’s someone who is in charge, who oversees. A bit full of himself (not you Yahweh). Fathers are often the one who corrects, yes they spend time with you, they protect, they guide, all that good stuff. But you don’t get to choose your father. Depending on where you live, you don’t get to choose your lord.
(Yahweh, I know how this is sounding right now, but I also know you know where it’s going). And in both these scenarios, there is still that “distance,” but a friend is someone that you choose. You made the conscious decision to share your stories with. To let them know when you’re happy or hurt. You want to take the time. Ideally, we should want all of that with the lord and our father. But when we visualise with our human eyes, we don’t see that.
The beautiful thing is that as the perfect Lord, he reigns supremely in our lives. As the perfect Father, he guides, instructs in the best possible way. As the perfect friend, he shares and cares. And that’s the part I had to discover, Yahweh not just as Lord and Father, but as friend. Something that truthfully, I rarely had. To this day, I don’t have a lot of friends. But I am happy to say that:
Yahweh is my Lord, my King.
Yahweh is my Father, my Daddy.
Yahweh is my Friend.