Still Got a Reason to Worship

January 12, 2022

That moment when it hits that you’re sabotaging yourself. In trying to lose weight, I track my meals. It has really helped. However, I have it set to me being sedentary (and I’m not). Plus on average I eat about 400 less calories than the suggested amount. The end result? No weight loss. It really hit me today. So I’ve set the app to reflect my true level of activity and have increased my intake. Yesterday I ended up buying something to eat when I realised that what I had for breakfast and brought for lunch only totalled 500 calories. Yeah. What was I thinking? The trainer at the gym only gave me a light workout today and then sent me home to rest. He’s like, you look really tired. I barely made twenty minutes on the spin bike. I usually do 30-40 minutes plus weights. So I’m home. Just had dinner and gonna rest for a bit before Bible study. Delayed hope. I think I’ve delayed it long enough. 🤭

Just a quick search and one thing is abundantly clear: waiting and hoping go hand in hand. Yahweh I pray for your direction. Your guidance. Sometimes I feel like I’ve been waiting for so long. I did lose hope. I was going through the motions because what else could I do? I’m sorry for losing hope. For not trusting you. And I am thankful for you speaking to me. I know that I’m still waiting and I guess the truth is that no matter what stage in life you are in, well I am in, I will always be waiting. Yahweh help me to wait in you. To wait in hope. Help me to prepare what you have called me to while waiting. Open my heart to you.

Wait: stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or event. To stay in a place of expectation.

Bible definition: to stay or rest in expectation. To rest in expectation and patience.

Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen. A feeling of trust.

Bible definition: to trust in, desire something. Expect something beneficial in the future.

Hope is always attached to something good. No one hopes for a disaster. Wait is neutral. You can wait for some good news or bad news.

Waiting in Hope: expectation of something good.

Proverbs 13:12 – Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life. 

This is not the first (second, or third) time reading this, but it is the first time noticing BUT WHEN the desire comes. It is Yahweh’s promise that the desire will come. Not may come. Not if. It will come. I also just realised that while hope delayed can make the heart sick, you can grow weary, but there is nothing there about actually losing hope. Once the hope is fulfilled, the sickness is restored (that is not what I meant). Then health is restored -tree of life. A desire that is of Yahweh will always be fulfilled.

SIDEBAR: Why did I want a child?

1. Always liked helping others.
2. To be loved. Have someone to love.
3. To carry on the family name (especially with those before me not having children). Was even hoping for twin boys. One to carry on my father’s name. One to carry on my husband’s name.

To thine own self be true. Sigh. I think it also boils down to “It’s what is expected of good Christian girls.” Get married. Have children. I’m obviously not a good, Christian girl, as I question, I challenge, I think outside the norm.

I’m glad that you know me better than I know myself. I still like to/want to travel off the beaten path. Even now one of my greatest pleasures is exploring. I’m not the sit and read to a child for hours. Though I can and I have and do enjoy it. But it’s not my first choice. The truth is…I’m an aunty. I reserve the right to return the kid when I’m tired (or they’re tired) and I can’t do that if they’re my own. I’ve said recently that I don’t have the stamina for a toddler in my 40’s so I don’t want children anymore. But the realisation is, being a mother isn’t my calling. Thank you for saving me from myself. BTW, I should have had an inkling when my favourite character growing up was Peter Pan. I wasn’t one of those rushing to grow up. But even Peter wanted companionship. That one is truly a desire from Yahweh. And when it comes!! Happy dance!!

But I digress. Back to the study. Why are hopes delayed? Why are we made to wait?

1. To teach us
2. To prepare us
3. To develop character

(Why would I think this is a one day study? Lol)

Jeremiah 29: 10,11 – This is what Yahweh says: when Babylon’s 70 years are over, I will come to you. I will keep my promise to you and bring you back to this place. I know the plans that I have for you, declared the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster. Plans to give you a future filled with hope. 

1st Note: a future filled with hope. So a future with good things, but also waiting for more good things when that “future” has arrived.

2nd Note: The Israelites were taken captives because they had turned away from God. They didn’t listen to his prophets.

SIDEBAR: Do we blindly follow prophets or leaders or do we test their words? How do you test the words of a prophet? I ask because there is this rhetoric that we must do whatever a pastor says because they are appointed by you to lead. But sometimes (too many times), I hear things being said that I can see no biblical support for or interpretation. What happens then, especially when it’s in an area not covered in scripture at all?

Yahweh did not leave them captive forever. He even gave them a time when he will fulfil the promise.

Romans 5:3-5 – Let us exult in our sufferings, knowing that hardship produces patient endurance and endurance proven character and proven character, hope and confidence. Such hope in God’s promises never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. 

It helps to develop us and prepare us. Building up parts of our character and fulfilling the work of the Holy Spirit in us.

Character: the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.

This is not our personality. In a Christian, our character should be what Jesus Christ himself displayed. And if he gives us everything we desire when we desire it, it will result in the actions of a spoiled child who only demands and often doesn’t appreciate it.

It also helps to develop a relationship with God. While initially (possibly) we went to Yahweh because we want something, by constantly going back and speaking with him, we learn more about him and often the want is minimised due to the increased desire to know more about Yahweh and to spend time with him. (To be continued)

What to do while waiting and discouraged?

Psalm 42:5 – Why are you discouraged my soul? Why are you so restless? Put your hope in God, because I will still praise him. He is my saviour and my God. 

Worship God. 

TODAY’S THANKFUL TALLY:

1. Strength to make it through today. Tiredness really hit me today. It’s only through God’s grace I made it.
2. Quiet neighbour.
3. Revelation and continued confirmation.
4. That I am not forgotten
5. Thank you Yahweh for your protection. You took me through this day safely. There is none like you. I am truly desirous of sticking with the habits. To be consistent. Thank you for your consistency in my life. I love you, Yahweh.