July 7, 2022
Thank you for your spirit, your moving. I just got a call but didn’t answer in time. I called back and got a voicemail. Then they called back, but we got disconnected. Then I called back, this time we spoke. Turns out that her phone was playing the fool and it was an accidental call. But as I was speaking I felt a slight impression (very slight) to leave her with a scripture I was just typing up – Matthew 6:34: Don’t worry about tomorrow. She was quiet for a minute and then said she was thankful for the words because her husband was also just telling her that God is in control and that we can’t worry about tomorrow.
It’s truthfully a message I have to keep reminding myself especially with the things that Yahweh is asking me to do. I don’t see the provision for it. I don’t see how it’s gonna work out, but I have to decide each day if I’m going to worry or worship? Am I going to worry or work? And I’m going to choose worship and work. Because worry stresses me out.
CONFESSION: I feel old. Not like my body is aching kinda old, though there are some body aches. But the kinda old when you look at someone and wonder if they’re old enough to be married?!!! How long ago did they finish high school? Wait, they just graduated from university?!!
When did that happen?
And I’m just sitting there, my mind in overdrive, but my face on pause. When did this happen? And of course there is the realisation that I don’t feel old of myself. Only in comparison with someone else. They weren’t lying when they said comparison is the thief of joy.
Medium
I panicked after I clicked publish. Literally walked away from the computer and went to the bathroom. What did I just do? I just published something on Medium. I don’t even know how it happened! Well, I do, but not sure how I decided to. I genuinely was just enjoying reading what others wrote and at times responding. I had no intention to post anything there. And considering that I have a website that I post my journal to, this should not be hard to do. It wasn’t hard technically speaking. It was easy to type up one of my journal entries. It’s what happened after. How I felt. Would it be read? Would it even matter? What determines what stories are shown? And I’m going to walk away now, from the computer, my journal and go to the grocery. I need cat food and to calm my racing thoughts. I’m not going to unpublish. Wait, can I even do that?
Rofl. I just got an email from Medium: a round of applause: hitting “publish” might feel scary, exciting or rewarding (and often all three). I guess everybody feels this way.
