Raise My Expectations

January 13, 2022

Yahweh, you alone are worthy to be praised.

Psalm 24:1 – The earth and everything it contains are the Lord’s. The world and all who live in it are his. 

You made us. You sustain us. Provide for us. Thank you for your provision. Sometimes I wonder if we are more of a headache than we are worth because we real messing up on this earth. This earth that is yours. Thank you for loving us still. You deserve all the praise. You are worthy of all the praise. I love you, Yahweh.

Soooo. Today I increased my calorie intake because I realised I was restricting too much. Tell me why I feel so hungry?

Yahweh, I desire for my expectations to be raised to your level and not bring you down to my experience. It’s not enough for me to just “watch” and not believe. It’s not enough to just believe, but to also do what you have called me to do.

Proof positive that it was Yahweh who sustained me through the fast. It’s 4:31pm and I feel so tired. That definitely wasn’t happening last week.

There are some moments when the desire to be held is so strong. I honestly try not to cry at times like this. Like now. I don’t get hugged much. I usually initiate with my parents. Usually get hugged by one of my sis-in-law but she’s on another island. I miss his hugs. And I know that I have to once more get used to hugging myself for a while. COVID definitely hasn’t helped this. I know I will be alright. I’m trusting Yahweh in this moment. You are my strength. Thank you for loving me and for being here for me. Thank you for your truth. Help me to live the truth that you have called me to.

Lamentations 3: 24-25 – My soul can say, ” The Lord is my lot in life. That is why I find hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to anyone who seeks help from him. It is good to continue to hope and wait silently for the Lord to save us. 

Yahweh is my lot in life. In a weird way, it almost sounds “resigned”. Like okay…I’ll settle for the Lord (talking about the way it reads in the scripture). But the truth is, he is a lot. It’s because of him, I can have hope. Because of him I am even alive. He has brought his promises and asks that we wait for him. Why? Because he is good to us. Waiting on him because he is worth waiting for.

Quietness is necessary in waiting. It causes reflection and growth. Complaining while waiting brings about bitterness and resentment. But it’s not a silence of not sharing what you feel with God, those we need to share because holding in despair or grief is just as destructive as complaining. But recognising that in the end, Yahweh wants what is best for us. He desires to meet our needs and to save us.

1 Corinthians 13:7 – Love never stops being patient. Never stops believing. Never stops hoping. Never gives up. 

SIDEBAR: Yahweh, the dog and it’s constant barking. I don’t know what to do anymore!! Is it bad that I don’t want any more pets? I spend more on them than on myself. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But I can barely afford them. Hallelujah!! He got quiet!! Thank you Jesus!!

Love calls us to believe. To hope. To never give up. Love has confidence in the future. When hurt it does not say “It will be like this forever.” It hopes for the best and the best is Yahweh.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. While the shadow, the darkness isn’t pleasant, it is a shadow, we have nothing to fear. Shadows don’t last forever because the light comes to cast out any shadow, any darkness.

Waiting in expectation helps us to overcome fear. It builds our trust in God.

Proverbs 23:17,18 – Do not envy sinners in your heart. Instead continue to fear the Lord (not the fear of being afraid). There is indeed a future and your hope will never be cut off.

My hope will never be cut off. No matter how bleak life looks. No matter how sad things may be in a moment, there is a future. My hope will never be cut off. Hope is always about something good. There will always be something good coming. Waiting develops patience. It requires us to trust completely in Yahweh. When we wait, we gain strength. It allows us to do all things. I’m gonna wait on you.

TODAY’S THANKFUL TALLY

1. Exploring!! Drove into two places I’ve never been before. One has a great view for a camp, but too close to a farmer who may take issue with me (they kinda watched me side-eyed when I waved at them today).
2. Yahweh’s goodness and mercy. His comfort.
3. Discipline (strength to still exercise even though the gym was closed).