March 7, 2022
Lol. Today actually seems to be taking its own sweet time. Usually time flying so fast that it is like a roller coaster. Not so today. Yahweh, I pray for your grace, your continued protection and your guidance. I pray that your spirit dwells in me and I in you. For my words to be of you, my thoughts to be of you. Thank you for who you are and how you have been shaping me. Thank you for your love.
Question to myself:
Why am I doing this? Why am I choosing to seek Yahweh?
Short answer (may not be a deep one, but it’s the truth as it stands right now).
- I’ve done it (life) on my own for a long time and failed. I’ve recognized that I cannot live a life in purpose and not have Yahweh at the centre.
- When I spend time with him, I am better. I may seem selfish, but it’s the truth. I’m better able to live each day and to do what I need to do vs what I think is right. I wish I could say these are the same things but they are not. I spent years doing what I think is right and have been burnt out, worn out, and depressed. I can’t even count how many times I cried when no one could see. Now I may cry, but it’s not without hope and it’s definitely not every day. They have even been tears of joy. Happy dance (Isaiah 61:3).
- It is a joy to spend time with Yahweh. I mean every time I see another aspect I am just in awe.
I think that the fear I have is losing the joy of spending time in/with Yahweh. That it becomes routine or just a chore. I truly don’t want that to happen. Help me Yahweh, to always seek you with intent and joy and a true desire to know you.
