So I have committed to this journey. Self-care, mental health and growth. This morning after devotion, I moved to music for 8 minutes. It felt good.
So even though I’ll be hella lonely and isolated, I think I do need to live on my own for a while. I had baked brownies, they were for everyone but I felt like brownies. Imagine my surprise. I went today and found none. Mom told me (with great pleasure it seems) that she had hid the rest for herself. I could have just made more, but there was no concern that the person who actually made them would actually want from them.
Yahweh, I pray for the wherewithal to build in Moriah soon.
I know that I will still get sad at times and instead of ignoring what I am feeling I am trying to process it and grow from it. I’m feeling sad. I came into my room and saw a message from Jeffers asking what time the programme is. I don’t know if that means he’ll be there but at least he remembered?
I’ve never looked at myself and thought I was beautiful. I believe that we are all beautiful in God’s eyes. I believe that we all have beautiful aspects to us. I never believed that I was/am beautiful. Attractive, yes. Beautiful? No.
But
Today, for the first time that I can remember, I looked at myself and thought I was beautiful.
He showed up!! I almost cried. Actually I did cry a bit. I know that I need to step back, I’m working on it. But happy that he came.