Writing helps. Yahweh, I really need your strength today. Sigh. I’m gonna be okay. I’m not going up there and cry.
Thank you for your love. It’s not a one day thing. I will let you lead. You are in control and if I attempt to take back control, please tap me. Please don’t let me.
Thank you for being my helper. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for your grace.
Sigh. I am 42 and have never gotten a gift from a guy. I do feel a bit sorry for myself at the moment. There’s a lot of sighing going on and honestly it all has the potential to make me feel inadequate. Doesn’t change the reality that I am lonely, and I know “they” say that Christians shouldn’t be lonely because God is here. But I am. I do believe that I will make it through today. Today is my only concern.
Honestly I’ve said before that I’ve never received romantic/relationship direction from Yahweh. Gotten it for school, work, home. However, not relationship wise with the exception to end it with a previous person.
I’ve gotten so many nudges in the past week, it’s like Yahweh is making up for lost time. I know that no time is actually lost though with Yahweh. I am thankful for your love and mercy Yahweh. I am thankful for your leading and I pray for the strength for each day. That I would not stay discouraged even when things look bleak.
Thank you Yahweh for your words. May my heart always be open to your words.
I started listening to a sermon after writing and this came up. “This is a Season of Preparation.” Speaking about separation for preparation. Speaking about loneliness. What if God isn’t calling me to be comfortable right now? What if this is an opportunity to recognize the distinctive features I have as a child of God? Separation isn’t always about being fast, but about knowing your route. Huh. God told the Israelites to “turn back” and he set them before the Red Sea.
Damn. Yahweh. Thank you for your words!! Thank you!!
I’ll have the faith: I have to believe that whatever you have for me is totally worth the wait. Yahweh, thank you for your promises. Thank you for your love. One day at a time. We can make it.
So for the foreseeable future – I will continue to improve:
- To build myself
- To build the Moriah house
- To save
- To pay down my debts