February 27, 2022
It’s the end of the day. Today was quiet. I started interlocking my hair and was initially only going to do the front. But it’s been a little more than two months and the hair was really starting to get too friendly with their neighbours. I’m okay with a “Hi”, but when they start to live there? No sir. I ended up doing the whole head. It usually takes me about six to eight hours to interlock my roots and I only have about 250 locs. When I see folks with 800 and 1,000, I’m in tears for them because I don’t have that much patience. Truthfully there is some in the back that at the time when I did it it felt the same size as the others. But now they are thicker. But you know what I am not going to do though? Take them out (which would require me to cut them) and start over. My locs are like people. Each one is unique and they follow their own path. Who is me to change that? Plus the reality is, there’s freedom in letting go: and not worrying about perfection in each looking exactly like the other and allowing each to be what it wants to be. Well mostly. Because I am not freeforming (though I don’t think you can freeform with microlocs) so they are definitely getting some training.
TODAY’S THANKFUL TALLY
- Freshly retightened hair. Honestly I don’t fight up with the always freshly manicured and styled look, but when freshly retightened? It looks good.
- A quiet, cool day at home.
- A movie! Repeats of course, but it’s easier to watch something while doing my hair instead of reading.
- Parents are alive and well.
- Yahweh’s grace and mercy.
Thank you for today and for bringing me safely through even though it was a quiet day. Thank you for your love. Your provision and the manifestation of your promises. You are an awesome friend and I can’t thank you enough.
What matters most to me?
- My relationship with Yahweh. I’ve learned that I can’t just do whatever and expect it to work out. I have to spend quality time.
- My relationship with my family and friends.
- My purpose in life. The things that Yahweh has placed within me to do.
- My eventual partner.
- Being of service.
Deep Breaths
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Yahweh I’m tired of Alex’s dog. I am truly tired. Why do I have to step outside my door into urine? Why? Make it worse, they were just brought inside. I am tired of his dog being here and I truly need to move out. Thank you for your promises. I’m really trying. Calm my spirit to be at peace no matter how frustrating things about me will be. Thank you for your grace, forgive me for getting angry. I’m sorry. I will go to my bed now.
“Let your living water flow over my soul.
Let your Holy Spirit come and take control.
Every situation that has troubled my mind.
All my cares and burdens unto you I roll”
Honestly, it seems so unfair at times that we are to put all our cares and burdens on you. You truly don’t operate like we do. Most people would not take on anyone’s burdens if they could help it. Yet you are pleading with us to put it all on you. It’s amazing that you are willing and able to do it for everyone: mind boggling. Thank you Lord for who you are. Thank you for healing and for your living water that flows from you.
