January 28, 2023
11:44 am : sitting in church
Well today is a weird feeling day. Not sure where I am going mentally. I’m doing my best to keep a song in my heart. I am thankful for your wonderful messages. Thank you for who you are. Help me to keep my eyes on you. And I’m going to praise you for who you are. Thank you for being the God of time. Of your promises. Let your will be done. Yahweh, I surrender to you. All that I am, is yours.
I believe in orientation. We received no instructions and so we’re just moving and not sure what to do. I think people don’t realise that seeing a thing and doing a thing are two different things. Yahweh, help me to be patient.
2:20 pm : Listening to a sermon
I know. I just came from church and I’m listening to another sermon. But the truth is, I’m trying not to dwell in my thoughts so figured a sermon would be best. In scrolling it was the first sermon. There were songs (well like one song), some shorts and a prayer. But the picture for the first sermon said, “Don’t send a Text” which was intriguing so I clicked on it, but the sermon is on loneliness. The pastor said these words:
That one in three persons have these issues:
- You have needs in your life and no one to meet them.
- You have hurts to share and no one to listen to them.
- You have love to give and no one to receive it.
“One in three is missing something integral: that love group of integral relationships that encourage you and nurture you towards the things of God.”
And sadly, I meet all those statements. But truthfully, that’s not how Yahweh intended life to be. But that’s how life is for me at the moment, so what do I do at the moment? I don’t know. Sadly, I no longer try at church. Friends are not existent for me at the church I’m in. I do have my parents for whom I am thankful. I am also thankful for the prayer group. So I will be thankful for what I do have. Thank you for what you have given me. Thank you for your love.
What happens when you make the effort to reach out and get no response? In a way this feels like a broken record. 95% of the time, I’m the one reaching out. Most of the group activities, I initiate. I would invite folks to my home, but I’m sitting here and I honestly can’t remember the last time I was invited home by someone whether for lunch or for fun. Man alive, this sucks just about.
9:35 pm : On my bed. On a Saturday night.
It’s not as weird as it sounds, but yes I’m in my bed. Another church was having a games night. Truthfully debated going, but the day was already so long that I didn’t have the energy to go there.
This evening was amazing though!! We had our business meeting and was able to put forward some awesome ideas!! Like what?!! Coming soon! Stickers!!
What am I thankful for today?
- Feeling lonely.
- Sticker ideas.
- Angie bought dinner for me! Yep.
Thank you for today. Thank you for your grace. I love you.
