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January 15, 2022

It’s the end of another day. My eyes hurt. I think I read too much. Today was such a roller coaster of emotions for a period. Seeing Jeffers was really awesome and he got his gift: guess it didn’t stay here as long as I thought it would. Then hearing that OT died I knew he wouldn’t last long but still, he was a great mentor and he will be missed.

The service went long today but the discussion was good. I just got tired after a while. I’m not sure what to study tonight but I’m just remembering I didn’t do my second exercise. Why am I doing my best to do it? It is too easy for me to continue skipping. So I’m gonna get up and dance like a headless chicken for 10 minutes. Yes, I am an uncoordinated black girl: which is why me and aerobics classes are not, I repeat not friends.

TODAY’S THANKFUL TALLY

  1. I got a hug from Jeffers! You don’t know how invigorating his hugs are. I guess you do. Sigh.
  2. The original gangsta is not in pain or stress. Miss him though.
  3. PC did not follow the vehicle in anger. And since you have called his name, I will too.

SELF-INDUCED BROKENNESS
Disciplines the heart, mind, spirit so that space for Yahweh is created in our lives and is accompanied by truth, power and blessings. We break ourselves before the Lord.

GOD INDUCED BROKENNESS 
God steps in because he wants to save us. It crushes the pride of life (where we don’t believe we need God). It’s painful. But necessary. It doesn’t take the person stepping up on their own.

When we are broken before the Lord, we create space for God to work. It allows God to be God.

WHAT BROKENNESS DOES:

  1. Makes room for God: we need to create space in our busy lives. In our decisions. In our hearts. [The presence of gratitude is a sure sign of a healthy self-induced brokenness] I am going to be forever thankful for the renewing of my mind. That change from self-doubt to God trust still boggles my mind, but it also cleared it and I am thankful.
  2. Connects us to God at the deepest level. Most of us don’t know the real part of ourselves: our souls. The most honest part of me.
  3. Keeps us abreast / aware of our true condition. [Samson wasn’t even aware that God had left him].
  4. Heightens your senses. We need to sense God.

(We need to heal our brokenness. Correction, God needs to heal us. But we need to also humble ourselves, break ourselves before the Lord).

Brokenness says: I will trust Yahweh. Psalm 51: 17


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