September 21, 2022
Tonight is church. Honestly, it’s cold and wet and I just want to sleep. Don’t know who is responsible for leading out but will choose some songs as backup cause not seeing any messages.
Annnndddd. No one showed up. Sigh. So standing leading out in praise and worship by myself. At least angels supported.
Galatians 6:2 – Help carry each other’s burdens. In this way you will follow Christ’s teachings.
Scripture at service tonight. Not living in isolation. The problem I don’t know how to overcome is that every leader in this church has often turned around and hurt others and I wish it was my imagination. Granted not me alone. But it is increasingly difficult for me to trust our leaders. And that’s hard. What do I do? I believe in supporting the leaders: always considered myself a Jonathan and not David.
Yahweh, how do I serve in your church when I am not welcomed there? Help is needed. I’m open.
TODAY’S THANKFUL TALLY
- Holy Spirit moving. Down to the song selections.
- The hope for a community.
- Singing by myself.
- Gratuities being held back. Turns out that the Registry doesn’t want to send my file to be audited and without that gratuities aren’t paid. It’s in your hands. Help me to learn what I need to learn in this season
- $109 in my bank account. Because why not? I officially have no personal items anymore. No deodorant, no lotion for my skin (and this chic gets ashy). Sigh. Not gonna lie, I keep hoping for miracles, but none forthcoming. But even though you’ve chosen not to move, I’ll trust it’s for a reason and keep my hope in you. I’ll probably be crying tonight though cause even though I’m at peace with your decision, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt a bit. It does.
I do recognise your promise to save. It’s not the way I envisioned, but you know what is best. So that’s what I am trusting.
6. DAY TEN! Faints! Say what now? Thank you!
