January 4, 2022
Day four of Prayer and Fast. I am thankful for Yahweh’s presence. His continuous presence with me. In quiet times, noisy times, busy times, prayer times. Thank you for being here. I am still amazed and in awe of how and how often you’ve chosen to speak to me. And I am thankful.
CONFESSION: I whined a lot before. I am thankful that You still put up with it and that You still love me.
FAMILY
Yahweh, I confess that I feel a bit disconnected from/with this family. It seems that we are in different places mentally and I don’t know if there is even anything that I can do. Maybe this falls under the “I don’t need to always help” category. I also get upset lately with Tee and Alex. I’m really trying not to, but I am. And I know it comes back to how much it feels like they want to use this family for their benefit, but the family does not benefit much from them. Help me to see things from a different perspective. because I truly don’t want to be upset.
I bring before you this family with all extensions. We are far from perfect. We make mistakes. We are selfish. We are hurting and many times it causes us not to see how our actions affect others. Sometimes we are even blind to our hurt. Yahweh, open our hearts to Your truth. To see you. To understand (?) you. (I know that you are beyond comprehension, but you have shared parts of you and for that I am thankful). Let our calling to be Christians not be in vain. Living a life but not the truth in our hearts. Touch us Yahweh as individuals and as a unit. May we come to know you. I pray especially for the boys. That they would choose you. That they would find their purpose in life and in you. Thank you for your everlasting grace (still have no idea how you do it, but I am grateful that you do). I pray that my focus will remain fixed on you. All else is gravy. Thank you for a family. Thank you for your revelation.
1 Timothy 5:8 – If anyone doesn’t take care of his own relatives, especially his immediate family, he has denied the Christian faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
COMMENTARY: Yahweh’s normal way of providing for the needy is not through the local congregation, but through our own work. If we are truly not able to provide, assistance should be given..but years of being dependent on others without attempting to work should not be normal.
1 Peter 3:8 – Finally everyone must live in harmony, be sympathetic, love each other, have compassion and be humble.
We won’t always agree but we should aim to live in harmony. Listen to each other. Treat each other with respect. Try to understand one another. I pray that we do. But since I can only control (barely 😀) my own actions: help me to live in harmony with this family.
SIDEBAR: “What if’s” do not help a situation. Even if I heard wrong or misinterpreted, I will trust You to reveal such in due time.
Yahweh, help us to be open to you. This family. Help me to treat others as I would like to be treated without destroying my boundaries.
[I won’t be focusing on my hours of sleep, but look at how I feel when I wake up]
Yahweh’s peace and protection isn’t based on my feelings or circumstances. I do find it hilarious that when I started this journey, I didn’t know what to study so I started reading. And now I have a growing list.
