February 18, 2022
Good morning Yahweh. I am barely up this morning. Last night was the weirdest sleep/non- sleep of my life. Thank you for a new day and for your love and the many ways that you express your love to us.
Great is your mercy towards me.
You’re loving kindness towards me.
Your tender mercy I see.
Day after day.
There is still the desire to do what I think I’m supposed to do and I’m not sure what’s the best way to say it. But this morning I woke up at (or close to) my usual time but felt so tired and drowsy that I eventually put down the pen and closed my eyes. And there’s a part of me that feels that maybe Yahweh is upset because I fell asleep during the usual time. I think it’s all the stories growing up about Satan fanning you to sleep so that you don’t spend time with Yahweh. But as I am writing this, I have to remember that above all you see the heart. You see all and know all and know the difference between a fan to sleep and the body needing to sleep. And I am thankful for that. Thank you for waking me up this morning, for strength for this day. Yep I am that confident you’ll grant me strength for today so I am thanking you for it now. I don’t know how today will go, but I do know that you will be there. Happy dance!!
Yahweh, thank you for leading and for your spirit in me. I realise that I don’t get as frustrated with P2 as I used to. Thank you for that. Still working on the dog that gets dropped off at times, but definitely gonna sleep elsewhere if that happens.
Haggai 1:2 -6 – This is what the Lord of Armies says: These people say it’s not the right time to rebuild the house of the Lord.” Then the Lord spoke his word through the prophet Haggai. He said, “Is it time for you to live in your panelled houses while this house lies in ruins? Now, this is what the Lord of Armies says: Carefully consider your ways! You planted a lot, but you harvested little. You eat, but you’re never full. You drink, but you’re still thirsty. You wear clothing, but you never have enough to keep you warm. You spend money as fast as you earn it.
Yahweh, forgive me for not moving in your time. It’s a new day: a day to choose which road I would take. Today I chose you. I pray that I would be open to you: your time and not mine. To do the work that you have for me to do and not focus on my own desires that aren’t in sync with yours. I pray that if there are any desires that are not placed there by you that they be revealed and surrendered to you. My heart is yours, my spirit is yours. I will follow.
Honestly at this moment, when I look around at the state of this earth, I see this scripture being played out. Even in my own life. I’ve seen it. And honestly sometimes, it’s not that the reasons for not doing what Yahweh asks isn’t valid: well reasonable appearing. After all Yahweh doesn’t eat physical food, but we do so I need to focus on that. I need to make sure that I have a place to sleep, but since Yahweh doesn’t sleep and he can be everywhere, I’ll fix me instead.
No lie, I see so many (myself included at times -shame face) spending more time trying to fix ourselves rather than fix what is Yahweh’s. No, that’s not to say that there aren’t times when Yahweh has actually said that you need to focus on another aspect of your personal growth, but even in those times, it’s according to his time. And from those moments of personal growth, his people, his temple are to reap the eventual benefits. That would be a sowing time, followed by a harvest that he would multiply because it was according to his time.
It’s so easy to think that we know what is best. But (newsflash), we know nothing. Well I know nothing, unless it was revealed to me by the spirit. The awesome part though, is that Yahweh loves to reveal his will for us. He loves to spend time, showing us his desires and sharing his promises for us. So, we need to take the time to be with him.
Yahweh, thank you for your time and your timing. Thank you for choosing us as your people, as you heirs. Thank you for loving us.
Yahweh, sigh. I just felt my spirit droop. The dog was just dropped off. Help me, please. I’ll sleep in the car. Help me to have patience. Thank you for your grace and mercy.
This week earlier a scripture came to mind regarding PC – Proverbs 16:27. This morning I was told that this week while quietly cursing my father that he said, “That God is our (referring to Dad) father, but Satan is his father.” That is truly sad. I don’t even know what to say in response to that. It’s really sad. People may not even be aware of the curse that they are calling over their own lives. Yahweh, I know that prayer works miracles. I pray that he would make a different choice. One where he chooses to honour you instead of cursing himself. I have no words. None.