September 11, 2022
On Friday, Mom had said to me that she hopes with all that praying I will get money for the bills after. I said to her, hopefully. And I do. But I have also recognized and am at peace (feels awesome saying this and meaning it) with the reality that Yahweh didn’t ask me to return the money to Him for me to get more, but for me to trust him. Will I truly trust him to see me through what will be a difficult season? And it will be a difficult season. It’s not over. And yes thoughts will come regarding how this will work out. I know it will. But the how may take me deeper, it may take me sideways. But each time the thought comes, I will recommit to trusting him. Not gonna lie. There are some serious Job vibes, but I am thankful that my physical body has not been harmed.
Yahweh, thank you for calling me. For making me your daughter. Thank you for who you are and for guiding me. I love you.
I think I truly understand how Elijah felt after Mt. Carmel. Just a little bit. It’s a crash. After the spiritual high. Granted I haven’t crashed, but coming back to the “cares” of this world is a sobering thought. But Yahweh, I want to keep my eyes fixed on you. To not get discouraged realising that I am back here with all the issues. They are in your hands, it was just easier to forget without them staring me in the face.
In the words of Kirk Franklin, there is this assurance:
Singing
I know that I can stand.
My Life is in your hands.”
