March 14, 2023
6:01 pm
Reminded that Yahweh does not help those who help themselves. Most times he says, “Be Still.” “Wait.”
8:08 pm
So listening to a video and the guy said that men cannot weaponise their body against their wife, but the woman can against the husband. Because a man needs sex whereas it’s optional for women. And it makes me wonder, “huh?” Cause I don’t think it’s “optional” for me. And I don’t believe that I’m the exception. It’s not optional for a lot of women, but we have been culturized to be “demure” and too often considered unladylike to like or enjoy sex. Just my thoughts.
11:38 pm : in my bed (finally)
It was not my intent to stay up late. Neither was it my intent to retighten my hair already, but I realised that it is a good thing I did. On Sunday I actually have to finish altering both dresses. And next week I’ll be in Trinidad for three days so I won’t be able to do either. And then the photoshoot! Ahhhhh!
So awesome.
What am I thankful for?
- No more headache.
- Freshly tightened hair.
- Life can be bitter, but it can also get better.
- Promising to remain intentional in my relationship.
In watching/listening to some of these podcasts/videos, I’m realising something. The who you are attracted to can change as you heal and grow. I loved Jeffers. There is still also attraction, but looking back, there were a lot of red flags that I ignored because I felt so connected to him. He has a lot to heal and I pray that he does. Yahweh, touch his heart. Help him to be open to you. To be the father he didn’t have.
I pray also that you will continue to work on me. To heal the parts that still need healing and strengthening the parts you have restored. Thank you for what you’ve done in me. And even though it hurt walking away (and some days it’s like I do miss him), two broken people were only end up with pieces, not peace. And I’ve never wanted a relationship with more tension than love. So thank you. I won’t lie and say I’m not saddened at times, but thank you.
Thank you for using me. And I will change my methods cause doing what I’ve always done, obviously have to stop. You made me change, and I still have to change somethings. I pray for your continued guidance. Thank you. I love You.
