December 5, 2022
My most recent days, I’m not getting to sit and pray or write during the day. I work and pray. Drive and pray. Eat and pray (and not much of the eating at that) and it feels weird and kinda guilty. Because I don’t want to get caught up in doing things for Yahweh that I forget to get to know him more.
I wouldn’t want that type of relationship with anyone and I don’t believe you do either. Yahweh, help me to balance the time, the resources.
I’m sorry. This is a total cut in. I don’t like this. I know that life isn’t fair, but seriously? Please give consideration to me also. Last programme I had to plant it, last few programmes actually. Now I’m being asked to plan an hour’s programme for Wednesday morning. And they are now upset because I am not willing. It’s not right to keep signing me up for things that I did not agree to and then guilting me about not being able to do it. I am struggling to find balance in the things I have to do. Sigh, I was literally praying about that just before. Yahweh, I do not want to be disrespectful, I truly desire to honour those around me. Help me to do what is right and to do what you require of me. I pray also that my boundaries are respected. Please. Keep me in your will.
Thank you for being a friend. Funny, I was actually typing up that for many of us, you are Father, Saviour, Lord, but you’re not a friend. I am grateful to know you as a friend and I pray that we will keep growing from friend to closer friend to even closer friend. Thank you for your love. For your friendship. For being a father. BTW…lol. What do I get for Christmas? What do I give for Christmas? Should I make a list? Can I make a list?
Imma make a Christmas list. May be both selfish and unselfish. Grown up and childish. Imma make one.
This is my Christmas List.
- To be debt free and living in prosperity. Yes, it’s high on the list. Number 1 to be exact. Btw – things like to know you is a given,
- Jeffers. Yes, I confess. Would be nice if we were back together.
- My parents to have what they need.
- All inventory to be sold out and a profit to be made. The business to prosper and be in good health.
- The youth/young adults to know you.
- Relocation of an officer.
- Good health.
I will end there. It’s kinda funny that I said I’ve never gotten a Christmas/Birthday/Valentines Day gift from a significant other, but yet I don’t have a physical gift on this list. Go figure.
TODAY’S THANKFUL TALLY
- Seven days to march around Jericho.
- A Christmas List. I lift it up to you Yahweh.
- Yahweh. You. Are. Awesome.
- Clearing up somethings on my desk.
Yahweh, I’m sorry. It’s not about what I do, but what I accept from you. Confession: I intended to pray and fast for the last eight days of solitude (shameface) almost as a bribe to prove how much I love you. But in my heart of hearts it felt self-serving, but I did not want to admit that to myself. And here I am listening to a sermon and it’s highlighting that nothing I do can earn your love, your grace, your salvation. Thank you for your gift. The gift of you. Thank you for loving me.
The Year of Solitude officially ends on a Tuesday which is already a day committed to you. I do have a meeting on that day but I truly desire to spend it with you. Praying and fasting. To honour you. To thank you for you and what you’ve done for me. And even though I have an awesome Christmas list, I am thankful for the greatest gift. You. I love you.
