November 12, 2022
It’s still amazing to me that it’s been a year. Not the year fully dedicated with/to you. But a year since that fateful day that turned me on my head. That made me feel so small and unloved. The day that I was stood up. Not gonna lie. That had hurt so bad. Didn’t think that it was possible to hurt so much. But I did. I’m not happy it happened, but I am thankful for where it sent me. I am a bit sad though, this isn’t even what I was going to write about. I was going to write about only having two more books to bind tomorrow. But sometimes (at odd times), I wonder if it will all work out. The ministry, the house, the marriage, the business, the blog. Sometimes. And most times I remember that you have been here, speaking to me, taking care of me, leading me. At the end of the day I am a bit sad though because I am still a bit lonely. And it does bug me when folks want to act like it’s wrong to feel that way. And it’s always from people who have been married for decades or have been in a relationship for a while.
I pray for your strength. I pray that I will trust you, no matter how long it takes. The house seems to be taking longer than I thought, but it will be built by your name. Financial restoration is taking longer than I thought, but it will be restored in Jesus’ name. It’s not yet time for the relationship, but the time will come in Jesus’ name. Yahweh, keep me until.
I pray for Steph. I pray that she grows from strength to strength with you. That her relationship with you will prosper. Keep her and Stephen until.
Thank you for who you are. I love you.
TODAY’S THANKFUL TALLY
- Feeling sad.
- Finishing three of the five books.
- A year.
It will come to pass. You’ve made so many promises and now you are calling me to rest in you. To trust you. You will work it out. It’s not about what it looks like now, but about who you are and what you have said.
Yes, at this moment the business is tiny, but you said to do it, so I will do it to the best of my ability. The blog, the house, the marriage, the ministry all seem a certain way now. But that’s not how they are to you. You have everything in place for the appointed time. Yahweh, thank you for who you are. Your word of encouragement and reminder. I love you!!
