January 14, 2022
The truth is at this moment? I am sad. I don’t want to be. I do understand why things happened the way they do. I’m tempted to slap a smile on my face and move on, but that is part of what caused my previous disconnect: trying to pretend that I was okay. I know that things will work out. I know your promises are sure. I know that: I believe that. Part of me just kind of wish I could jump forward in time you know? I know that I can’t. I pray that in this season that I will keep my eyes, my heart fixed on you. I need you. Help me to take it one day at a time. Help me to move in my purpose. To not run when things get hard. To embrace this season and to lean on you. I’m going to wait on you. It’s funny, my word for this year is “Intentional.” Of course, I chose the song “Intentional”, but I feel more like it should be “Wait on You.” Because that’s what I have to do.
And I am processing my shock right now! He just messaged me that he is in Tobago and when he could see me. I know it’s not that type of reunion because I am committed to you Yahweh. I am choosing to continue along this journey. But thank you for the message, it means a lot. It will probably only be for a minute, but thank you.
Yahweh, I love you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for your promises. All your promises are “Yes” and “Amen”! How can I serve you better Yahweh? There’s so many who are hurting. Yahweh, strengthen us in you. Thank you for your word.
I’m going to be planted here – where you sent me.
Identify the famine. How can I add value?
Begin praying into it.
Move myself into the space. Have empathy.
Actively pay attention to what is depleting me.
Abraham’s promises from Yahweh.
- Go to the land I will show you. I will bless you and make your name great. I will bless who you bless and curse who you curse.
- I will give you this land to your descendants.
- I will give you all the land you see and descendants as the dust.
- I am your shield; your own son will be your heir.
- Live in my presence with integrity and you will have many descendants.
- When I come back next year, you will have a son.
Yahweh, help me not to shrink where you have placed me. Truthfully, I’ve never felt like I fit in anywhere. My ideas aren’t the usual ones, my dress isn’t usual. The way I speak isn’t either. I’ve been ridiculed and gossip about, but the reality is, folks will do that anyway. So I am choosing to live the way you want me. To live the way you’ve called me to. Help me Yahweh, to honour you in all that I do. I don’t know where you are leading me, but I will follow. I pray that I don’t miss any steps along the way. You confirmed your promise to Abraham so many times. Honestly, it gives me hope that:
Even though he went into Hager.
Even though Sarah laughed.
Even though they doubted.
You remained faithful.
You fulfilled your promises. You ensured that your word came to pass. I can’t say thank you enough for your faithfulness. Thank you for your consistency. For never changing. You keep watch over your word even when we fail.
I’m learning to trust you. Even if things don’t come the way I may think, I’m trusting you. You’ve placed so many examples in the Bible for us. One of the things that genuinely scares me is running so far ahead of you that I cause a mess. And yes you work even in the mess, but I’ve always wondered how you would have caused Jacob to get the blessing if he hadn’t tricked his father and brother? I’ve always wondered how things would have been if Abraham did not have Ishmael. I know that I’ve made bad choices in the past, and may in the future (though I really hope not), but Yahweh, helped me not to run ahead of you. I’m going to wait on you. Help me to see the step in front and to move forward with you
I pray also for Jeffers. I will keep releasing him to you. Heal him Yahweh. Protect him. Provide for him. May he find joy in you.
Yahweh, I pray also for PC. You have called him by name, you know his needs and wants and I pray that his heart would be turned to you.
Thank you for your provision. Thank you for using us, in spite of our mistakes. Thank you for restoration. You are an awesome God and I love you, even if at times I may not understand you.
TODAY’S THANKFUL TALLY
- A quiet neighbour (PC)
- Your promises.
- Messages at unexpected times.
- You still love me.
- My parents.
